[Tears r not enough]

hi im new to this site um im just so lost right now and everything has fallin apart im always sad and crying and thinking of new ways to harm myself.um i've been depressed for a little over a year now.i know i need help but im just afraid i mean i don't know anybody that i can go to i can't go to my mom cuz that is just out of the question or any family member cuz then ofcorse this will be just another reason for everybody to be more disapointed in me,i try so hard to be what they want me to be but it's just not good enough i will always be the bad apple.no doctors either they scare me i have nobody im all alone.i have this feeling that i feel all the time but it won't go away and i just want it to go away and never come back it gets deeper and darker by each day.i've lost all my friends and my future to this stupid feeling. im just really scared im so confused and sick of everything and everybody i just want to be happy and eat right again.i can feel that im about to break soon and i just don't know what to do.i've tried to kill myself twice by overdoseing i don't have the guts to stab myself with a knief or jump off a building i wish i did though.can anybody tell me what i should do or something please im so sorry that this is kinda long and for wasteing your time

[hopeless09]

First of all, reading that didn't waste any of my time. I know exactly where you are coming from (well, not exactly because we are all different) BUT... I can relate to a lot of the feelings you expressed.

I'm just now starting to ask for help after 4 (almost 5) years of feeling like that.

Hm, this is my thought on the matter; I highly doubt your parents would be dissapointed in you, in fact, I think they would be proud that you realized that something was wrong, and that you took responsibilty and courage by coming to them and telling them. You could start by dropping small hints to your parents. Uhm, ok, example, the other day I was talking to my mom and said, "I've felt differently lately. Sadder." while she did not elaborate or ask any more questions, I could register in her face that she listened, and I am sure she is thinking it over at the moment. After a few days, drop another hint. "I think if I had someone to talk to, I might be able to shake this feeling." and so on, until your parents have realized that something is wrong. If they send you to the doctor, don't be scared. They probably can seem out to get you, but once the doctor gets a feel of your personality, they can be very comforting, and they know great ways to help people cope with different aspects of their life.

As for suicidal times, think about the people you would be hurting by killing youself. The people that really love, and care about you. They wouldn't want to see you die. Also, you admitted to being scared, so that should tell you that maybe you don't want to die, but rather, someone to talk to, to reassure you that everything will be alright. Because it will.

Finally, I think taking showers, eating meals, exercising, and getting 6-8 hours of sleep- regularly- can also do wonders at making you feel better.

You're just going through a rough time now, but things will pick up, they always do.

I wish you all the best of luck.

[Tears r not enough]

thank's um im gonna drop some hints in the next couple of days and if that doesn't work then i'll try talking to her then if that doesn't work then o well i guess at least i would have tried.

[crusader504]

That is a great Idea although I am sure it will work. Sometimes you might just need to take things into your own hands. That might mean finding any adult you trust a teacher, relative, or minister. Ask them for help. Also suicide is never the answer. If you ever feel that overwhelmed get help immediately go to a hospital call a hotline or a friend or just be around someone. Good Luck. Let us know how it goes.
sarah

[Tears r not enough]

i tried the hint thing a few times and well she just gave me these looks i thought at the time she was in a good mood buti guess i was wrong.we really don't get along and these past few days have been bad.so then i tried talking to her i told her that i've been hurting a lot from stuff that has happen over the years and what she put me through with her b/f then she started yelling at me telling me how she can do this anymore and on thursday im gonna tell the judge to just have you go live with someone else cuz u need to go away.i didn't mean to start a fight really i was just trying to be honest but o well i tried and that is what counts.