hey guys, thanks for the replies
yeah it is really hard just now, one minute im on a high and feel happy next min im so low that i feel like i want to hurt myself, but i always manage to come round from that. went to the docs as ive still nt been to my counsellor, and he has put me on mild anti depressents, feel quite ashamed about that
MY bo yfriend is amazing tho, i put him through so much and hes still sticking by me, like i went to the docs today to talk about what was going on and he waited in the waiting room, even said he would come in with me for support, then took me home, stayed a few hours to make sure i was ok. He is the best, i know our relationship isnt perfect but i stress the little things, like if he decides he not to come see me i take it as a personal insult when maybe he is just too tired. He gets so hurt when i doubt him , like when i told him today not to tell anyone i was at the docs and hes given me pills he was like....why do u even need to tell me that, u know to trust me, i hate hurting him....but its not him tho its me and my lack of trust and selfesteem just now, sometimes when im going really down i think hes cheating which is MAD because i know he loves me to death and wouldnt do anything to hurt me!
I feel like im going mad sometimes!!