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please...someone...anyone!! - 04-14-2009, 08:47 PM

hey everyone, I really need some help. This guy forced me to have sex with him and then he continued to blackmail me in order to make me do it again. i went to the police last night, but I had only told them about the first time he did it. I didnt want to hurt my case by letting them know it went on more than once. Anyways, he's now telling the detectives that it was CONSENSUAL!!! Nobody believes me since i left out the entire story. I didnt do EVERYTHING in my power to stop him, but i was scared and confused...i didnt' know what to do. can someone...anyone tell me wat i should do!

don't mind me...i just LAUGH to keep from CRYING
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04-14-2009, 10:58 PM

You should be able to ammend/add to your statement at any time. When it comes to things like this, it's really your word against his, sadly enough.

Don't say "I didn't do EVERYTHING in my power to stop him". You were scared and confused, as you said, and it may've impared your abilities to stop him.

Do you mind if I ask, why do you think it'd hurt your case by saying it went on more than once? If anything, it should strengthen it.

This is the end... Beautiful friend, the end...
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04-17-2009, 12:49 PM

If i can be so bold what do he use to blackmail you
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04-17-2009, 04:58 PM

Consent is agreement, permission, or willingness to have contact of a sexual nature.
Consenting is saying 'yes' without threats, coercion or emotional blackmail.
A person has the right to change their mind at any time during a sexual encounter. If someone says "no", "stop", "I'm not sure I want to do this" or through words or behaviour implies no, then you no longer have consent. You must stop. Pushing someone away, moving the other's hands, trying to get away, resisting or putting clothes back on are all signs of refusal.
Quote from:http://http://www.victiminfo.ca/sexual_assault.htm

you are not to blame! He forced this on you, you shouldn't feel guilty because you feel like you haven't done enough to prevent it. You did not consent of your own free will he forced you by blackmailing you.
like corpse said you can still add to your statement that you were being blackmailed, if you have any written proof, text messages, emails they can enforce your case.

Check out the site it might help although it's for Canada
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04-30-2009, 01:28 PM

Hi there,

Your story hit close to home. I really only try to reply to people's post when I can really relate. I was involved in a molest just a few years ago. I was still little enough where I didn't have great judgement.. This guy was my competitive cheer coach for many years, whom I had a small crush on.. But I was little, I didn't want anything to happen, you know just one of those little girl crushes on her idol.. Well, he ended up taking advantage of me just shortly after my father passed away.. he molested me many many times.. and it took a few months to tell anyone.. and of course I had to report him.. I felt I was in your position.. I was embarrassed to admit it happened more than once.. I felt like they would think I went back for more.. when in reality, I was just too scared to stand up for myself. My once idol was now my worst nightmare. He was older than 18 at the time, so it didn't matter how much he did.. it was all illegal.

First off, I would like to say.. you are brave for going to the police.. I understand how scary it can be, going behind this guy's back, and confessing to people you don't even know.
Second- The police are not out to judge you because it happened more than once or you didn't stop him. In most cases, victims DON'T stop the abuser. It is 100% normal to be scared, confused, lost..etc.
Third- I recommend going back to the police and giving them the rest of your story. They cannot help unless they have all of the information.

This guy deserves punishment, or else he WILL continue to hurt other girls if he has not already. So if you cannot do this for yourself, do it for all the other innocent young women out there that could be hurt.

You are so strong.