[Pierced-Princess]

Is it that you see yourself in the mirror and see a fat person? Is it that you feel unattractive becuase of all the "beautiful" people out there?

I know know becuase that's not what it's about for me.
I'm driven by Sex. I'm really confused, Do I have another eating disorder?
I've suffered with an eating disorder in the past.

Me and my Boy live nearly 200miles away when he's not at University and I only get to Visit him every few weeks. Becuase of my natural weight I've never been regular. I'm a naturally slim person, it's in my family and I discovered after being ill for a few weeks that if I slip under a certain weight my periods stop all together.
A couple of times I've been to visit Nick and I've come on the day before or something.

I'll get to the point.

I've been keeping myself under that certain weight so that I won't have periods. I'm by myself most of the day so I don't have to eat, all I do is drink ****** becuase it keeps me feeling full.

I do other things to get myself out of eating Tea when my family get home.



Am I in trouble? I'm driven by Sex to stay super thin...but I can't stop myself anymore. The very thought of eating anything more than half a butty makes me feel sick...

[Sisko]

... so you're "controlling" your periods because you don't want to get pregnant? Is that it?

[Pierced-Princess]

No, becuase I want to be able to have sex when I see my boyfriend.

[kelci]

Being on the pill allows you to an extent to be in control of when your period starts. If I know there's a special day coming up, like going to an aqua park etc then I just go on to the next pack and miss a period. So far no evidence has been found that this has any effect on your health. But starving yourself to that extent will have health related consequences. If you don't want to go on the pill maybe you could arrange to see your boyfriend on days you know you won't be on. Sorry if this doesn't help!

[asina]

hmm... I guess it is slightly unusual but not totally. Not all people start to develop an ED because they feel fat. It's often a way of control over one's life. Perhaps being able to regulate your own body makes you feel in control. I would think there are underlying reasons for this need ... maybe you should look for those.
And yes, it is a problem because you are seriously damaging your body. You should look for help if you feel you cannot change this yourself anymore.

[Pierced-Princess]

I used to be on the pill but I came off them becuase I was at high risk of strokes.
It's hard to meet up on specific days because I don't know when I'm going to be on until the day before. I've gone 4 months without being on.
I really, really want to get the implant but i', scared they say I can't have it for the same reasons I wasn't supposed to be on the pill.

I'm going to talk to Nick about this when I see him next...i think.

[kelci]

I'm sorry about that.
I understand your reasoning but anorexia really isn't the answer.
I think of it like this - if you are healthy, then probability speaking you should be on your period about one out of four times that you come to see your boy. Surely this one time you can go without sex if you don't like the idea of doing it when you're on? Just cuddle up and get to know each other better.
And if it's sex you really can't be without, then a vibrator can work wonders

[Pierced-Princess]

I know it's so stupid to seem obsessed about sex with him so much I'm doing this to myself but we've not seen eachother for 3 weeks now. In that time we've had a hard time, he's not happy about me doing photoshoots of a certain nature and we've fallen out near to the point of heartcbreak.
We've made up and all I want to do is make love (i'm so sorry for the soppiness here!!). The last I went to see him I was on so we havent had sex in...like a month! I know that's not a big deal to most epople but out relationship is intensly physical as well as emotional.

I can't have sex when I'm on becuase I feel like crap

I'm sorry it seems like i'm throwing advice back in epoples faces, I'm not! I just arg! I dom't know. I'm torn.

I'll stop after this visit. I will, I'll start eating again.

[Puffshkin]

Apparently, you can still get pregnant.

[CastYouOut]

i dont think she cares much about the pregnancy thing. *if u wer reading!* lmao

ive never been in a similar situation.. so i cannot say i understand. but honestly it is not a good idea.

i'm glad your gonna start eating and im sorry im so late 2 reply.

much love

xo

[helena]

of course anorexia is not just when you think you're fat, that wasn't the case with me either...
I agree with Bloodflower Anni - you're much safer (of strokes )when eating normally
also, I'm not sure how often this happens, but you risk becoming infertile, if you don't have period for long time

[EmilyRose]

Originally Posted by Pierced-Princess

No, becuase I want to be able to have sex when I see my boyfriend.

and whats wrong with waiting ???
periods dont last that long.

[Pierced-Princess]

I only get to see him for 3 days every three weeks or so.

I don't mind being infertile...I have massive fears of becoming preganant anyway becuase of past things.

I'm concidering the Implant seriously now, they'll stop my periods I thinik.

I'm so sorry everyone. I'm on the absolute low today

[Pierced-Princess]

I know there are. We're very intimate, in so many ways not just sexually. It's just frustrating not seeing him for weeks then not being able to make love.
I also feel terrible when I am on, I'm very slight so I get very, very ill and am in no mood to do anything. Which unfortunately ruins the whole visit.
You have to understand, we live over 200 miles away! Neither of us can afford to visit as much as we want and organising a visit around my stupid body is incredibly difficult

Thankyou everyone for everything, i'm sorry i'm being difficult. I guess I just wanted to tell someone
x x x x x

[Pierced-Princess]

He knows I'm holding myself at a certain weight but I don't think he knows why.

As for children, we're very open with eachother and neither of us actually wants kids. I'm aware this may change as we get older but I doubt it. I'm nearly 22 now, we've been together nearly 3 years, we're going to be married in two years. we know what we want already and kids just don't come into it.

He's good at helping me so I might confess to him when I see him tomorrow.

...i'll keep you posted?