I never thought about it, I guess I was in denial?
Then last night, it hit me.
I've had a sexual relationship with just about everyone I know =/
I've had phone sex with 4 people on my top friends list on myspace
I feel disgusted in myself. This is awful.
I'm 15. Young I know.... The scariest thing happened a few weeks ago, and I think thats why I'm starting to realise I have a problem. I met this guy off the net...
I'm going to be completely truthful here. No sugar coating.
He's 35. Has a bald patch and chews tabacco. Omg. Thats disgusting. I stuck around for a WEEK, begging him to have sex with me (We met in person, obviously) Maybe I needed the Validation? But it happened and now I feel so gross. I feel dirty.
Thats not all... Trust me thats not all. I don't even like the sex. I just do it to please them. I just want someone to be happy with me.
I'm so scared
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Hell, I lost my virginity when I was 12 to someone I didn't even know, I didn't even know how old he was !
I still haven't gotten over that. I feel so used. Gross... I like sex in general. But this is WAYYY too much. WAYYY too far.
I can't take back what i've done. I cant do anything. I hate myself for it. I can't forgive myself. I'm so disgusting.