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i want to go back - 04-03-2006, 06:00 AM

i want to go back to starving myself, not because i feell fat, because i need to. i don't know why. i was thinking maybe the arguments will stop, and i just have a need.
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04-03-2006, 06:07 AM

That's just stupid. I realise that's blunt but dont go "hmm shall I go back to being depressed and obsessing about my weight every second of the day and being too weak to actually do things, looking ill, feeling ill yeah that sounds like fun"

When people go down a route of weight obsession and it leads them to severe illness that's one thing I can feel sympathy for, but deciding to be anorexic and ill like some pro-ana weirdo is just stupid. It will solve nothing and cause way more problems.


Today, we don't know who we are

Ashamed, hiding behind the scars

So walk in time to life's refrain

Relax, don't do it to yourself again

Too many times we let the things we feel get in the way of letting us heal

Did you ever feel sunlight on your face?Did you ever truly live...

last cut- 3rd March- one year and 4 months!
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04-03-2006, 06:14 AM

yer it is blunt.

i hated every min of being obsessed with my food, i hated it soo much, i got better. but i don't know why but i just have a need to go back. i know it is not the solution to anything. i just cant think straight. my head is everywhere, and i just...... i don't know, i feel the need. i don't know what to do.
i
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04-03-2006, 06:17 AM

You dont need to, you want to. This is your eating disorder and you're th eonly one who can take control, so do it. Keep eating and stay healthy rather than volountarily making yourself ill again and claiming you "need" to.


Today, we don't know who we are

Ashamed, hiding behind the scars

So walk in time to life's refrain

Relax, don't do it to yourself again

Too many times we let the things we feel get in the way of letting us heal

Did you ever feel sunlight on your face?Did you ever truly live...

last cut- 3rd March- one year and 4 months!
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04-03-2006, 06:20 AM

i don't know what to do. its just the overwealming urge. i don't know why, as i said i hated it. every moment.
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04-03-2006, 06:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by †Bloodflower Anni†
I actually agree with Foreverbroken on this one.
ditto that!
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04-03-2006, 10:26 PM

Starving sucks and makes u more and more inclined to think and obsess more, well that's what I've discovered anyway. When I am struggling I pray to God to give me the strength I need, it's sure not easy but w/ his help anything is possible and I am not giving up as I hope you don't either. Do you have anyone who you can talk to? I tried to do it on my own, (recovery) and quickly realized that with a little support and faith you (we) can do it!
love ya,
rikajoi
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04-04-2006, 01:30 AM

its kind of hard to explain, and you probaly all think im stupid for thinking this, and i probaly am. I don't really want to go back to ald ways, but my head keeps telling me to. i have told my bf how i feel but he does not know what to do, and he is worried as hell, which i didn't want to happen. i don't know who else to turn to

i gave up on god along time a go, it was mainly my churches falt.
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04-04-2006, 05:19 AM

Whats God got to do with anything?

Religion isn't the key to getting better. Just ignore tese feelings, its your anoreixa not your head. Be tough on yourself and dont let it slip. recoverings hard but you could at least try.


Today, we don't know who we are

Ashamed, hiding behind the scars

So walk in time to life's refrain

Relax, don't do it to yourself again

Too many times we let the things we feel get in the way of letting us heal

Did you ever feel sunlight on your face?Did you ever truly live...

last cut- 3rd March- one year and 4 months!
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04-04-2006, 06:42 AM

I know that feeling is almost like being "high" when you don't eat.

The "floating" feeling, carring your body like a feather. My bones showing everywere.

STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!! GET MEDICAL HELP RIGHT NOW!!!

My dear you are suicidal. This will take you no were but to a point of no return.
Find what is "eating you". I saw your picture at "myspace" and you allready look thin. If that is what
you are looking for. That is enough. PLEASE! find what works for you to recover.
However, you need medical help. Don't isolate yourself. FTI can only support you moraly you need to go
in the real world and get help.

Why do you hesitate? X X X LOVE

Last edited by mylifeaway : 04-04-2006 at 06:53 AM. Reason: mistake
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04-04-2006, 07:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mylifeaway
I know that feeling is almost like being "high" when you don't eat.

The "floating" feeling, carring your body like a feather. My bones showing everywere.

STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!! GET MEDICAL HELP RIGHT NOW!!!

My dear you are suicidal. This will take you no were but to a point of no return.
Find what is "eating you". I saw your picture at "myspace" and you allready look thin. If that is what
you are looking for. That is enough. PLEASE! find what works for you to recover.
However, you need medical help. Don't isolate yourself. FTI can only support you moraly you need to go
in the real world and get help.

Why do you hesitate? X X X LOVE

i have recovered, and i am my ideal weight, and that picture was only tacken a couple of weeks ago. i think im just slippin back, im still eating like i should, but i have to force myself. its just it seems like my body wants to go back.
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Wink 04-04-2006, 09:07 AM

est we been friends 4 a wile i know u worked hard geting how u r now u dont need to trow it away u look gr8 just stay like it


we spend our whole lives trying to fine that one person spesh but when u find them never let them go
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04-05-2006, 06:24 PM

I'm glad to read you are at an ideal weight. I hope you can find the strength to keep taking care of yourself. It's so hard I know. I haven't seen your photo. I'm sure you are beautiful inside and out. Please take care of you. So many people responded to your post. You must see how loved you are. Right there is a good reason to stay healthy.
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