NOT a cutter? -
08-15-2005, 05:05 AM
I can't be the only person in the world (and on these forums) that self-injures without cutting. I suppose I've been hurting myself in some way for maybe 4 years now and, yes, at first I cut, but that was junior high. It became too obvious, messy, whatever. Too hard to explain, even for an expert liar like myself. I did the whole recovery thing, came out well, and then noticed that... I hadn't stopped hurting myself.
I had just stopped cutting, so people didn't know what to look for. When frustrated, I still hurt myself. Hitting, pulling, etc. Not a smack on the head "doh" but banging my arm on something until my frustration with that pain overrides my frustration with everything else. I've never been seriously injured doing any of this and it's been much easier to explain, since, I suppose, it's more socially acceptable. Everyone hits themselves once in a while, I just do it considerably harder than other people. In fits I have pulled out chunks of my hair, but that's not too hard to explain, either. And bruises? Everyone knows I'm awkward?
So, who else? I don't need a blade to hurt myself, I have the wall. I have the floor. I have my HANDS.