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ibmesoubu6plz
 
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Help Me Im Dying - 08-04-2005, 08:19 PM

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!! I want to die =( i am crying while i am writing this. actually im always crying. I am so worthless. SOOOOO very worthless. Or at least that's how I feel. Whenever im in a group of people, there is this voice that tells me that i will never make friends, i am worthless, and my job is to be sad and sit on the sidelines of life and watch everyone have fun. ive felt like this for the last couple of years.when i joined jazz for extra curricular activities this year, i thought everything would be fine. but now i am regretting ever joining it....before ANYTHING even began in jazz, that stupid, uncontrollable VOICE started talking, and i started believing that i wouldnt make friends and that everything would be bad. thats how i feel everytime i start a new activity and thats why ive quit almost every activity ive ever done. Jazz practice(something that's supposed to be fun) tears my heart apart. It's just jazz practice to everyone else in the ensemble but to me its hell. i wish i could just stay home. at home i try and run away from all my problems by fantasizing that i have a perfect life but when i step out of the house and go to jazz everything just ends up in pain. I can't believe jazz started out horribly for me. when you give something a bad start theres a slim chance that youll get back on track and feel better about the whole thing. sorry im just randomly writing crap but i just wanted to tell everybody my problems =( it would be just wonderful if u could help me out....

Last edited by ibmesoubu6plz : 08-05-2005 at 02:56 AM.
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xTwistedandBrokenxx's Avatar
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08-04-2005, 08:44 PM

You sound alot like what i used to be, and am becoming once again.
Depression is what you have. That voice is controlling your life and if you dont stop it itll really get the best of you. Dont let it get the best of you, if you do you really will end up dead. The people who love you will never forgive you for giving up on you, even though theyll still love you theyll hate you for giving up. You can do it, i got out of it when i was in trouble, and though im sinking back in im still hanging on. Everyone can do it. Though its hard, everyone has an inner strength to keep going.
PM me if you ever want to talk.


君を好きでよかった :] <3

Dry your eyes mate, I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts but you have to walk away now...it's over
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xazile is Offline
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08-10-2005, 10:40 PM

you are not worthless. never say that. you are an individual that has the potential to change the world. you have your own mind.. you're not a clone like so many people are. the only thing that could possibly make you worthless is giving up. never give up because tomorrow is always a mystery. never give up because you'll end up wondering what would have happened. there's endless possibilities in life and there's so much you have yet to experience.
you are worthy to know people. there's no reason you shouldn't let yourself have friends. i know for a fact that you're a really sweet person and i'm positive that you have a wonderful personality that you're hiding from everyone... including yourself. just remember that you're your own worst critic, and what other people think doesn't matter. once you know that, things will start getting easier. friends are nice to have, but they aren't necessary right now because you just need to get through school so you can have a wonderful future.
i do believe that erika is right. depression very well might be the cause of this. it's easily treated for many people, and the sooner you get help, the easier it is to get better.
take care
if you want to talk you can PM me or IM me on aol/aim
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08-10-2005, 11:06 PM

RAWWWR!!! *puts a stamp on her head that reads emo*

Listen sweetpea, if you wanna get better, you need to realise something, the only person holding you back is yourself. It's all in you, dont expect other people to cure you. You have the power, you are you. Much love <3


Hugs are when hearts touch
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08-11-2005, 01:27 PM

i have a voice in my head to he tells me to do things
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helpindude is Offline
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Wink 12-19-2007, 08:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibmesoubu6plz View Post
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!! I want to die =( i am crying while i am writing this. actually im always crying. I am so worthless. SOOOOO very worthless. Or at least that's how I feel. Whenever im in a group of people, there is this voice that tells me that i will never make friends, i am worthless, and my job is to be sad and sit on the sidelines of life and watch everyone have fun. ive felt like this for the last couple of years.when i joined jazz for extra curricular activities this year, i thought everything would be fine. but now i am regretting ever joining it....before ANYTHING even began in jazz, that stupid, uncontrollable VOICE started talking, and i started believing that i wouldnt make friends and that everything would be bad. thats how i feel everytime i start a new activity and thats why ive quit almost every activity ive ever done. Jazz practice(something that's supposed to be fun) tears my heart apart. It's just jazz practice to everyone else in the ensemble but to me its hell. i wish i could just stay home. at home i try and run away from all my problems by fantasizing that i have a perfect life but when i step out of the house and go to jazz everything just ends up in pain. I can't believe jazz started out horribly for me. when you give something a bad start theres a slim chance that youll get back on track and feel better about the whole thing. sorry im just randomly writing crap but i just wanted to tell everybody my problems =( it would be just wonderful if u could help me out....
u still need help? its kinda late and maybe u r fine, but i can help u, PM me if u need help
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12-19-2007, 08:14 PM

u still need help? its kinda late and maybe u r fine, but i can help u, PM me if u need help
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Smile 07-10-2008, 11:06 PM

Maybe quit Jazz?
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07-14-2008, 07:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibmesoubu6plz View Post
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!! I want to die =( i am crying while i am writing this. actually im always crying. I am so worthless. SOOOOO very worthless. Or at least that's how I feel. Whenever im in a group of people, there is this voice that tells me that i will never make friends, i am worthless, and my job is to be sad and sit on the sidelines of life and watch everyone have fun. ive felt like this for the last couple of years.when i joined jazz for extra curricular activities this year, i thought everything would be fine. but now i am regretting ever joining it....before ANYTHING even began in jazz, that stupid, uncontrollable VOICE started talking, and i started believing that i wouldnt make friends and that everything would be bad. thats how i feel everytime i start a new activity and thats why ive quit almost every activity ive ever done. Jazz practice(something that's supposed to be fun) tears my heart apart. It's just jazz practice to everyone else in the ensemble but to me its hell. i wish i could just stay home. at home i try and run away from all my problems by fantasizing that i have a perfect life but when i step out of the house and go to jazz everything just ends up in pain. I can't believe jazz started out horribly for me. when you give something a bad start theres a slim chance that youll get back on track and feel better about the whole thing. sorry im just randomly writing crap but i just wanted to tell everybody my problems =( it would be just wonderful if u could help me out....

I need to comment on this:

" i wish i could just stay home. at home i try and run away from all my problems by fantasizing that i have a perfect life but when i step out of the house and go to jazz everything just ends up in pain. "

Thats NOT what life is, and it never will be. Hiding from your problems is not going to make things right. Facing them will. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, so don't do jazz if you feel it's really that horrible. Find things you actually enjoy doing and have faith in yourself.
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08-09-2008, 11:36 AM

I feel like that. Suicide was on my mind a lot until i had a dream. In my dream there was a war going on. i had the choice
1. to commit suicide and give up or
2. Fight! not to give up, to atleast try to win
In my dream i chose to fight. It gives me strength now. I know it sounds silly because it was just a dream. What im saying is, is that no matter how much you hate life, you're not dead, you are choosing to fight. You are winning and have been for as long as you have been alive. So why give up now? Just think about it the next time you have bad feelings about life.

I hope i have helped you your life is better for you now!


Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart...
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08-23-2008, 08:40 PM

no one has the perfect life
and you shouldn't wan't to kill yourself over something that is basically unacheivable.

it is okay to cry. for me crying makes me feel better, you should just think about all the good things in your life

message me for help


catch

the


rainbow
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