Not sure what to think anymore. =/ -
01-06-2012, 07:59 PM
wow... oookkk.. so i haven't made a thread in what seems like forever so bare with me if i talk too much or whatever. uumm.. a lot has happened recently. so much crap that i'm not exactly sure if i should put this in this area or not but it seemed appropriate so blah. i have this ex boyfriend. who use to hit me. he was also very verbally and emotionally abusive. i thought i loved him but apparently i was just too scared to leave him. i recently went to court to try and get a restraining order against him but they denied my request because they said i didn't have enough evidence and that the police reports against him wasn't incriminating enough. then i found out like a week later that he in return put a restraining order against me. which makes me think he's just trying to ruin my life sumhow. he made up a bunch of lies about how i smoke all the time.... i don't. how i hit him, or constantly harass him... and i don't do either of these neither yet he was able to successfully get the restraining order. so i'm like wtf? those are the things that he does and yet the court system is protecting him. i don't understand that at all. so then i thought whatever cos at least if he has the restraining order then he might leave me alone but he hasn't. i keep seeing him pop up all over the place, he doesn't actually try to make contact, you know as far as talking to me or anything but i can tell that he's watching me which makes me think he's doing this on purpose to plan something and i'm so scared i dunno what else to do. the police seem useless seeing as tho if i'm near him i'll get in trouble but he keeps coming around. the paranoia is eating me alive. i have nightmares all the time and i fear that if i don't do anything about this then things will only get worse
fingers around my neck are grasping in,
waiting for the moment to slide in,
have a drink && let this game begin.
polaroid and one cheap glass of white
i think the moon is full,
i've come undone.
pieces fall this game has just begun.
the next move is you.
i'm begging you to.