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Alcoholism is not a joke. - 02-19-2012, 09:38 AM

For the past 9 years of my life I've had a serious and I mean serious alcoholism problem. And no... not me, actually the inflictions of my father, my protector, my guardian, the template which I'm to base future relationships on. I've seen people throw the term around carelessly. But in actual fact, its nothing to mess with. Anybody who has a problem with alcoholism needs help. Fast.

Unfortunately I believe my dad is beyond repair, and I don't actually have a dad anymore. Well I've come to the realisation that I never did, because I can't for the life of me remember a decent conversation with a sober father. I had to disconnect myself after numrous times of getting hopeful and letting my guard down, then being disappointed and angry at both him and myself, for getting my hopes up again.
Loud noises and bangs make me feel sick because of the countless amount of times I've woken up in the middle of the night to him falling over, out of bed, down the stairs, ripping things (radiators from the walls, fireplace etc), kicking holes into our doors, smashing glasses, and fearing all of these times that hes going to smash his head in, knock his teeth out or break his neck. Now he didn't always intend to be violent- alot of these encounters happened because he couldn't stand or walk properly.

Try to imagine waking up in the middle of the night to the screams of your mother attempting to get your dad off the livingroom\bathroom\bedroom floor before he inevitably p*ssed himself.

We have an open fire in my house, and my dads drunkeness and neglect have led to our house nearly being set on fire 12 times :P so as you can imagine the fire brigade aren't too happy with us. We've also had ambulences here... alot, and the police even more so. (In fact I don't think we'll ever get taken seriously ever again.)

Now.... theres actually a ridiculous amount of sh*t to tell. And I've never written it down before, and to be honest theres no way I would know how to get ALL of it out but the above is just a taste of what alcoholism can be like.

My dad was a troubled man with an abusive childhood who vowed never to be the father that his own was, but look what happened.
If YOU find yourself turning to drink to drown your sorrows or hide the past, I'd like you to stop and think about the effect it has on other people around you. You may think that you'll never get really bad, but you actually don't really have much of a choice biologically in whether or not you will get addicted. My dad used to be a gentleman, he serenaded my mum and they fell in love, had children. He got a job as a computer engineer and earned quite a bit for it. He had alot of pride, was physically fit (had weights out the back, went cycling, swimming and running), owned a motorbike, read alot and was VERY intelligent BUT alcohol IS a drug. One accepted by society. So easy to come by. Hes suffered FIVE alcohol-induced seizures (these have NO link whatsoever to genes because nobody in the family has ever suffered from seizures), his liver is messed up beyond repair, suffers from ALOT of stomach ulcers and he's caused so much mental destruction that I now believe that he has psychopathic tendencies. Although I'm not going to go on anymore about my own personal situation.

FYI- I'm not against drinking and have gotten drunk a few times with my friends, but somtimes you need to take a break, stop, chill.

Alcoholism is very stigmatised and avoided, even on FTI. Rarely do I see people posting about alcoholism and rarely do I hear people admit they have a problem. Its not really understood by many either. The minute you start bringing the bottle to your lips to drown out your pain, well.... your creating a positive association to something thats actually poisonous and does more damage in the long-term. So i urge you not to do this where possible.

Counselling (however proud or scared you may be) REALLY helps and is available practically ANYWHERE and for free or a low price!
If you are the son/daughter/brother/sister/cousin/mother/father etc.... of an alcoholic and want to share your experiences or need any advice, please do not hesitate to post here in the alcoholism section in fti. Also I would love to be of any help- you can pm me

Please- DON'T TURN TO THE BOTTLE. A majority of you will probably not know of the long-term damage it can do.

[S] l a u g h t e r is the best medicine

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02-20-2012, 11:10 AM

Although I'm sad that you've had (and have) to live through this, you're very intelligent so smart enough be able to turn this experience around and learn from it, and help others, use it positively.

Having been "addicted" to drugs I can see into the alcoholics world somewhat, I have little sympathy for those who say they can't stop as though they have no choice. It's extremely difficult living without them as in possible crushing depressions and obsessive suicidal/death related thoughts, paranoia and hallucinations, but! That's temporary and although you want relief bad, you know you'd be prolonging it, and it's only your own choice to prolongue it. Nothing forces you to take another hit, and often enough we have to actively seek it out. But they say that alcohol dependancy is worse than *herion* dependancy. And that some have a gene that makes them predisposed to addiction.

There is still hope for him, but it's he has to make the decision himself (unfortunately :P )

I'm proud of you for making this post. You're so strong. I don't 100% agree (do I ever??) but I can't argue! Hugs I hope many people read this! Perhaps it should be a sticky?

I went to submit this and had to relog in... I was raging, thought I had to type it all back in! lol

"You can't be creative when you're completely happy." - P!nk

Originally Posted by Voltaire
Courtesy of the convo between me and puff when my fingers spasmed:

no ****ing animals in ze jumbo non-balloon vehicle okay? asshole?

"Look down on me, you will see a fool
Look up at me, you will see your lord
Look straight at me, you will see yourself"
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02-23-2012, 05:44 AM

Its still quite raw for me :P So I don't have much sympathy for people who don't really put in any effort to stop either. BUT if they're just starting out or genuinely want help, I wouldn't reject them for wanting help.
There's no chance of recovery for my dad. :P I'm not going to argue his case because like I said its still a very raw topic for me.
I don't know about sticky! XP But more awareness should be raised about alcoholism! Its very rarely touched upon.

And I had to sign in again when I was posting this! Thought I'd lost all of it aswell :L

[S] l a u g h t e r is the best medicine

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06-01-2012, 11:58 PM

I rarely drink these days, as I'm getting too old to handle the hangovers.

It's always struck me as strange though, how booze affects people in different ways. People have told me that I'm an amicable, huggy drunk. Alright, I might embarrass someone by hugging them and saying "I love you", but that's probably less embarrassing than waking up the next morning with a policeman's helmet underneath the bed with no idea how it got there.
I only drink socially, these days. There's the Royal Jubilee celebration going on next week, and while I'm not much of a monarchist, well...any excuse for a street party.

You can bet though, that someone with "issues" will drink ten pints of lager and start a fight with someone else over their skin colour, or over something equally stupid.

Rather die in your arms than die lonesome Rather die half than die hollow The higher that I climb, the deeper I fall down I'm running out of time so let's dance while we're waiting.

I miss you Sha, and alll of your family, I hope I get to see you all again, even if just once. God bless.

Last edited by Avenger : 06-02-2012 at 12:03 AM.
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