In my expirence with abusive relationships, and helping other people with being in an abusive relationship, I have found this site's warning sign to be the most accurate and best worded. I have refered said website to several people before, so if it looks familiar, that's a good thing. I think this is something EVERYONE needs to read, to not only look out for in their own relationships but their friends as well. People who are depressed or are abused in the past are much more likely to be in an abusive relationship. So ALWAYS be on the look out for these signs.
Remember that an abuser does not have to conform to all of these symptoms
You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
-Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
- Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
- Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
- Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
- Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
- Abuses drugs or alcohol.
- Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
- Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
- Has a history of bad relationships.
- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
- You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
- Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
- Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
- Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
- Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
- You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
bullet You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.
Does the person you love...
• constantly keep track of your time?
• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?
• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)
• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
• have affairs?
• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?
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