[Joy yellow]

[COLOR=Yellow][FONT=Century Gothic]I know this is going to sound weak and pathetic but I'll write it anyway. I don't like myself. I hate all the stupid things I've done. I hate all the times I let some guy f@ck me just because I wanted somebody to care. I regret all the drugs I tried just to find a moment of peace. I'm upset that doctors put me on meds that don't help. I can't listen to my mom tell me just get out of bed and live. Like it's really that easy. My heart is not a heart it's hole full of pain.It's hard to love me I'm to screwed up. I scare everyone away. I'm to wierd or crazy that's what guys say about me. I'm in college now shouldn't things be different. my mom says I should be more grown up now. I don't know what I should be all I know is what I feel. I feel like the worst person on the planet. I cry all the time. Everytime I reach out for help I end up feeling worse than before.[/font][/color]