10-30-2003, 01:13 PM
i am adopted. my real mom was 17 when she had me and everyone told me she was too young to keep me. my step father have known eachother since she was about 9, thats how i still keep in touch with her. i have never met my real father though, and i dont know anything about him. i was talking to my stepmom about this and told her that carmen)my real mom) never mentioned my father and asked why she hated him so much. at first she hesitated to tell me..but she felt i had to know. my father raped my mother. thats how i came about. since she didn't believe in abortion she instead gave me up for adoption.
i felt so discusted when i heard this. all this time i wanted to meet my real dad and see how he was. now whenever i hear his name i get the chills and cant stand it. how could someone abuse another person like that? i feel gross..i know its not my fault, but whenever im around my real mom she never really affectionate.. and now i know why. my mom doesnt know i know this though, and i want her to, but i know it will hurt her to kow that i know this. i just feel so far from her now, i mean i know we werent so close before, but now i feel even further away from her.