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My Other Half

Creation Date: 08-11-2007 08:49 PM

Yeah this is going to be my new internet diary so you'll be hearing a ton of crap you probably could care less about hearing here! If you want to learn more about how nerdy I am, what I hopeless romantic I am, how klutzy I am, and just more about me, this would be a great place to look. I love ya all!

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Him

I refuse to respond to your ultimatum. I will never give someone that much power over me again. Last time I did, my heart was broken not just once, but three times in a row by you even when I willingly ran back to you. I still have such strong feelings for you, but you are right-people don't change. Which is why I can't allow myself to hand my fragile heart over to you, but at the same time, I want you, physically, emotionally, mentally..take me or leave me you say? Lovers or nothing? I refuse to respond. And I know deep down that your hope lives on. I know that you want to posess me, but you had your chance. You destroyed me. And my friends were there to pick up the pieces, although you constantly belittle the meaning of friendship. You say you are alone, but you're only truly alone if you choose to be. I'm here. I'll always be here, because I'm a ****ing idiot. You have made me cry for hours and feel less than dirt and I'd still completely melt beneath your tears. When you visited and kissed me, I felt our chemistry. When you visited me, and got angry at me for nothing I did, I felt my grudge flare inside of me. I can't forgive and forget when you have never truly apologized or shown that you will not change yourself, but have the capacity to control yourself. I know you can, you choose not to. You should've been fighting for me, and instead you always admitted defeat. I didn't answer you because, I can't. I can't answer your question until you answer mine and you insist that you are moving on. I know you love me. You can't lie to me. You can't pretend to enjoy shrugging me away. Because you don't. Because deep down..you're still mine. Just as much as I'm still yours. No one else understands it. No one else ever will. Love? What a funny word. You made be believe but maybe that's because I trusted you. I accepted your blindfold of passion, and chose to take on your perspective of the world. But no longer. I can see now just how foolish I really was, to think you'd understand when I needed my space...just as I understood when you couldn't control your emotions. Instead, I'm the villain. Well, I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope as you walk away you remember how I melted your ice cold vampire heart and didn't flinch away when you cut me and sucked my blood. I'll have that scar forever. It's small and to others may be insignificant but to me it means a lot. Treasure all you have, as it may not always remain. Those were your own words. Thanks for throwing me away, because I can assure you I will not turn back-I will not remain as we are now. I will always be your friend, your confidant..if only you choose to let me. I will never be cared for as deeply and powerfully as you cared for me. But I will always be cared for because I choose to live a life accepting that not everyone is as inhumanly perfect, or mentally superior as you are. I hope you try to live on, not as an island, but as a bridged man accepting that no everyone who crosses your path will be amazing, you won't like all of them, but some of them...are worth your while.

Smile.

I love you.
As much as I can although the concept of love is dwindling away from me again.

It was always you.
"Take me or leave me?"
You're already gone.

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Comments (1)

#1 posted 08-26-2009 05:32 PM by Rubyslipperslg

I tell you, nothing is as wonderful as falling in love with someone and being in love. Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart. Hugs. And don't be like me and wait forever to meet someone. I know you will take your time because yea, love hurts bad but I do hope one day, you meet someone who will appreciate you for you again. Hugs tightly.