posted 12-04-2012 01:09 AM by
wow, ok... so its been a while. a very long while actually since i've wrote in my blog so i guess i'll just do a quick update/vent about sh*t. haha. I took a look back at some of my old post && its amazing to see yourself from a different point of view. i think i've changed and also alot in my life has changed but if i tried to explain how exactly it would take a while. i've been smoking alot of pot lately and i think it has become my crutch for everything which im not sure if i should take as a bad thing or a good. When ever something happenes i think of m.j before anything else. it has replaced my old cutting habits and definatly has had an influence over who i am && who i am not friends with now days. its my reason for wanting to go to work, and any other decision i make is basically revolved around the thought process of a stoner. haha. i think i might be happy but its hard to tell cos when your high of course your happy, but once your not its like you just want to go back to how you felt after smoking that 1st bowl. I nevr thought i would be saying this but i sure as hell wish i've been smoking for longer then the time i have been. i wonder what my life would be like or if anything would be different. I've been thinking about going to school. again... but fear is holding me back, that and money. I'm also having boy issues ... like always. my ex boyfriend has decided he wants to be apart of my life again but venting about that would take forever, and tallking about any other guy who im friends with that has complications would also take alot of explaining. especially if i mentioned a.j.a. he's just being so bleh right now. plus the fact that its recent hasnt exactly given me time to stop thinking about it. im always thinking of 10 different random stuff at 1 time but now i guess is the time to plan. i know im probably not going to be consistant with this thing cos i nevr am. but im wondering what else will change by the time i post something else. the year is almost over. im running out of time. but hopefully that will just motivate me to do everything. i like my new job. sum of my co-workers are nice and others are like eh. i want a car, plus alot of other things but above all else right now i just want sleep.
i miss sisko. i wonder what happened to him. i wonder what happened to alot of ppl actually