Filling the Void

Scott is a coward- and not even half the man as most of the men in my life.
**** him.

I'm exausted. Steve woke me up this morning.. about 20 minutes ago @_@ because my keyboard didn't work last night, and he was calling me about making plans to day so he could take me to get a new one. This morning i turned everything on and my keyboard worked fine.. so i called steve and was like "ughh... y...

*sighs angerily and deeply* Sometimes, I am the stupidest person alive.

I've been so lonely it's kind of ridiculous. I see a person I know and I cling to them and want to spend my evening with them. I'm scared I'll annoy them. I'm scared they have nothing to do with me and I'm just being a crazy person.

I've been sleeping with Scott.. not having sex or anything.. but sleeping next to in hi...

Everyone around me has began to settle in.. Everyone has a best friend here, a person who would come to save them.
I have no one like that. Just people I annoy.
I have no roomate.
I'm incredibly lonely.
Scotts been letting me hang out with him.. but i kind of feel like I'm more of an annoyance than anything.
I painted today...
it's complete crap.
What would anyone want anything to do wi...

<3 Miley = <3 <3
Hope she's feeling not so down.

My allergies are really acting up.. and it's basically driving me insane. I redecorated my dorm.. it's really nice in here now.. not so cold and empty. I put shower curtains over my old window curtains and it works really great..

I haven't had any homesickness. Not even remotely. Which was kind of a strange fear I had because when I was...

I'm not sure what it is.. since i've moved in I've found myself very lonely-- not so much homesick rather just desparate for a friend, a person who knows me and I don't have to explain myself to them. I have lots of friends so far.. but they're all new friends..Considering i spent most of my time at home alone- i would be used to it.. but rather here i am surrounded by people and i am completely ...

I move, leave, and live in the dorms in 10 and a half hours from now.
my mother is crazy stressed- this pisses my dad off and everyone was hella angry today. mom said matt could come over and pack this morning and as his dad drove him up (remember matt lacks in car) she told me he couldn't come.. I was upset because i painted him something. i actually had the guts to sit down and paint him some...

ill never die.

Today was terrible.
Today was my last day to see matt.. it was going to be our good-bye. Hard enough my mother left before i woke up and she wanted me home at an earlier curfew than what i had when i had work in the morning. I go "what are you trying to prove?" I feel like my mother is -trying- to leave on bad terms with me. So the majority of my day i spent with matt I was con...

I move in two days.
I hate this place. Especially my mom. So after my car was taken from me due to a minor problem... i go to see my friend today- only to have my mom come 20 minutes earlier and we were in the middle of a movie @_@
so her being 20 minutes early was really rude to me, so i was rude to her and let her wait for 10 minutes. Yes, she was pissed as hell and screamed at me the entire ...

I'm not sure I understand. Yesterday my mother was driving me down town to get me new prescription shoes and herself some good running shoes- when she said "Dad and I figure you should have some friends over this weekend."
I looked at her stunned- my mother HATES company. Even if someone comes over to give me a ride she litterally tells them to get the hell out.
"A party?? You HATE company!"
"...

I haven't slept since matt had his accident.
Today, during a simple regular blood test i passed out. Yesterday feels like a week ago- I can't remember it very well.

I remember driving and seeing parts of matt's tires by where he had crashed and crying.

I remember I hung out with people and it really hit him last night. Really scared him.

Picture of his car..
[img]http://img.photobucket.co...