posted 09-30-2007 09:23 PM by
*sighs angerily and deeply* Sometimes, I am the stupidest person alive.
I've been so lonely it's kind of ridiculous. I see a person I know and I cling to them and want to spend my evening with them. I'm scared I'll annoy them. I'm scared they have nothing to do with me and I'm just being a crazy person.
I've been sleeping with Scott.. not having sex or anything.. but sleeping next to in his dorm. This was a bad idea because of how bizarre I find it. I understand my psychological reasonings behind it (i'm the most lonely person alive right now)- but what about his? Sleeping with another person wastes space and sleeping time, and he obviously doesn't mind.. Atleast, I don't think he does. Does he genuienely likes me or is he trying to use me? I think Scott isn't good with being honest with his feelings because I'm confused and frustrated. I don't know if I should even bring it up to him because it may just have been pity cuddles due to my lonliness.
There's the obvious answer. However His vibes point to being annoyed by me half the time.. but his actions point to really liking me. So if he does actually enjoy my company I think I'm going to be the most dense and frustrating person on this planet until he makes up his mind and gives me consistancy.
Tomorrow I'm going to this hotsprings with a girl in scott's hall. should be a nice time to relax and get my mind off of things.. and hopefully make some new friends.