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shadow_girl's Blog

Creation Date: 06-05-2008 05:05 PM

ok i am new here and i found this site by my friend bear377.....so if you have anything to say i can help you out alot.

I'm sorry that we're best friends,
For forever til' the end.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough,
To be your girlfriend.
I'm sorry I love you so much,
That I long to feel your touch.
I'm sorry you won't even give me a chance,
As I feel I'm in a rut.
I'm sorry you feel nothing for me,
You've broken my heart as you can see.


for you my girl from another world

dear, tara'


hey babie i just wanted to start by saying >!~ that we have been thrue alot to gether>!~and im glad me and you can poll it thru i love you girl so much you have no muther ****ing idea>!~ like it drive's me crazy i mean sometime's i sit in my room and just remenince about all the time's we shared there's not a moment in the world i regert about>!~ us i love being around you>!~ i like to know what ur feeling just by looking at you i know what ur thinking how ur feeling what drive's you crazy the thing's you do to me drive me up the wall but in a very good way babie no joke>!~ you made me really see how a girlfriend is spos to be and i thank you for showing me>!~i know i show you new thing's everyday>!~ and i know you thank me for that to>!~

i mean ur en awesome girl and im proud to say ur mine you know>!~ i love tellling ppl that ur mine>!~ and it really doess felll goood to say you know>!~ and i think you will agree with me babie>!~i mean we get in to fight's but babie>!~ you know we would'nt alway's be fighting if we were together you know face to face>!~ even if we were we would'nt fight like we do >!~ cuz you know we love being together you know and i love being with you>!~ i mean sure en acasonle fight here and ther but nothing that bad we fight becasue we need to be with eacother>!~ we need to be close other wise we get scared>!~ about eachother you know>!~i mean i can't say much and this is not much but>!~

girl i really want you to know i love you to death>!~ you are my ****ing world and im glad it's you and no one els because no one ever has shown me the thing's you show me>!~ you show me respect and you think about me>!~first you know im not use to that at all>!~ i don't even no how a girlfriend should be>!` babie you really are my first relasionship>!~ and i want it to work the best >!~ i know it may not be forever but it's ok to think that way here and there you know hun>!~i mean i think about you all day everyday >!~ like today 8-1-08 i was playing my game and i just could'nt stop thinking of you like>!~ just the way you kissed me was amazing and i really did'nt relize it till than>!~ you make me so happpie just by that kiss i know you love me>the loook you make when i want to kiss you it kill's me like no jok......the look where you look at me and say what>!~ and than i kiss you>!~ it is really hot to think of it and i was thinking bout it alot today>!~ i just could'nt stop smileing babie you make me sooo ****ing happpie and i can't even start to say that you don't cuz you do babie

you make me smile when im sad or just sick and you really know how to make me laugh nobody ever make's me laugh like that>!~ babie...you are the most greatfull person i have meat and i would'nt change it for the world hunnie>!~>!~ you really are the love of my life girl>!~ you mean so much to me>!~ omg word's can't explaine it no joke>!~ i mean we may fight but really it's cuz we are not wit eachother>!` it's cuz i don't talk to you#1 and than not seeing eacthoer make's it worse on both of us you know babie>!` like don't get me wrong but i need time to think babie>!~ i know i love you and everything but they just don't come in word's in my world i mean i would love to tell you everything wit out you saying wow yo>!~ you talked to me for a change i mean i really can't say anything what do you want to hear i don't do anything exsiteing in my life tara as you can see i bareliy even get out the house inlesss im...leaveing to drive somewhere you know>!` i mean i just want to get my job my car and be done with this family **** it drive's me up the ****ing wall and really sometime's why im so ****ing pissie i don't mean to be but that's what my family doess to me>!~ but i guess that's what there there for now ant it>!~ but not even just that>!~ comeing from me>!` when i ranaway i really did think alot and you no i came far from what i was comeing from i mean i was 14 and ranaway how ****ed is that i was ****ing pissed and>!~ the day they got me the last time i ran> i was siting in my granparent's house saying i don't wonna be here i hate it here you guy's don't get along>!~ and i don't wonna here you all fighting the hole ****ing day live life you know don't ****ing fiight mostly the ressiion i get soooooo mad when we fight cuz when i was little i was put thru that alot >!~ my brother's dad tryed killing my mom while she was pregnet wit me>!~ thankgod he did'nt manage that but most the time when i grew up i was put thru hell>!~ my brother's dad was alway's fighting with my moms over him and he all most got away with stealing my brother you know and me>!~ he shot my moms wit a bebee gun>!~ my mom still has it in her back she has been thru hell>!` to not just me....when i came home from school and ****>!~ my moms and dad were alway's fighting and>!~ **** you know i get really mad when i fight with other ppl cuza that>!~ i hate it with the ****ing bloodie passion>!~ no joke....one ngiht my mom's came>!~ from when my moms and dad use to ride bike's and **** they had there lil bike gang going on and > this girl deeeee almost runined her life no joke she was ****ed up back than my mom would come home in the middle of the night and my dad would wake up and they would fight and **** i hated it>!~ i would scream and scream intill>!~ they would stop....it just did'nt work>!~and than when my dad gave up he would go back to bed and **** and my mom would come in and lay next to me and tell me everything would be ok....and i new it was'nt and i did'nt beleav anything she said to me>!~......it got really bad babie and i wwas so scared that one night they would just get a divorce you know>!~ and one other night i don't really remember but i ended up wakeing up in a car i remember going down the stair's after that i don't remember much>!~ i mean i was kinda yung you know>!~ but you know im happie that>!` i am who i am>!~ today>!~ went thru some **** and now im good you know>!~ i am getting what i want in life i got a job and i wonna finish school and order for me to do that i need to know >!~ that' im gonna be good>!~ you know>!~ and i think i told you this before to but ima say it anyway's i like to help ppl and .....i love to be around ppl that want me around them>!~ i mean i am a very nice person i would do anything for anybody>!~ i give money to ****ing bum's on the street you know>!~ i'll give them what i got and i feel like i did' something right for a change you know>!` other than thinking of my self and being selfish>!~

TARA!~ you should be lucky to have me i am very happie and i am ****ing lucky to have you>!~ you mean everything to me > and i would give you the world if you asked me>!~.......for me to love you like i do is amazing thru my eye's and we both have alot of **** that happen to us>!~ so we can both say that we are both really lucky to fall for eachother you know>!~i just hope you know that i LOVE you and you ant some ***** on the side of me your my girl for life wit or with out ur still gonna be in my heart where every i may go>!~ ur still gonna be lucky number one>!~ you are my basicly my first love babie and you better ****ing belav that>!~ the word's i say to you don't come out of a text book they come from the word's and the lil voice's yelling in my head that you need to know what they say to me everyday>!~{ this girl don't know my hole life and im willing to tell you but i wonna know i have you for good>!~i mean we been ****ing stronge for a while now and i wonna keep it that way babie>!~........ i don't want it to end>!~ if it doess i don't know what i will do>!~ pyco ward here i go>!~ you know im not gonna date for a verylong time>!~ im gonna think of what ima do wit my life and be happie>!~you know im not even gonna ****ing worrie bout it till im alest ****ing 21>>>>>>>~ i mean really>!~ it's not even worth going thru the same thing over and over again you know babie>!~ i wonna be wit you fo ever and you know that and i hope you think the same i think you agree wit me on that but>!~.......we both know that something is alway's bouned to happen with us>!~

that's it for now> 8/9/08

babie this is a chance we are just gonna have to take and be happie id it don't work out you'll get over it you>!!` know>!~ and we both will move one and you will find someone better than :me: you know...i mean if it were'nt for you i would'nt ****ing even be here today>!~ we both help eacother out alot>!` i helped you with ur prob and you helped me wit min>!~ i thank you much for that babie>!~ i mean when you do what you did i got so mad it made me wonna take it out on my self when that was'nt the answer at all>!~ and when you got stressed out you tuke drug's out on ur strees belev me i know how the game go's babie>@~~ and i know how the adicsion go's>!~

but when it come's to me with relasionship's im not>!~ good at them you know>!` that's awaly's why i broke up with the one's i was with>!~and you know i can't lie bout my feeling's babie i would'nt ever do that to you nor anyone els>!` cuz that would hurt me more than them>!~ just knowing that i would be so childish and do that>!` till this day i can't even start to think why i lied to you so much>!` and it hurt's me to know i did>!~ and i know it hurt's you to know what you did to me and how you hurt me>!~ but>!~ the past is the past huh] can't chnge a dam thing in less some ****ing braineack come's up with a time goer backer>!` lol... idk babie i just know that..... i would be very lost and alone wit out you>!` my feeling's are very much so true for you and>!~ would'nt change them if i could>!~ it's hard to think at night cuz i want you in in my life you know i want you there when i need a hug i want you there when i wonna cuddle >!~ and most of all i want you there becuz i love you and i can't even think of not being wit any one els >!~ but you>!~ i love to hold you when im sleeping>!` and i know you watch me when i be sleeping>!~ i can feel it>!~i love it babie>!` i love every little thing you do to show me how you feel and every touch every kiss if you only knew they mean so much to me>!` i just wonna .....mmmmmmm... you know what i mean babie>!~ i just i ****ing love you and i know i have said it athousoned time's thru out this hole mesage but i just want to get it thru to you>@~ is all babie........


im sorrie i would'nt let you last night i really am>!~ i don't know why i did'nt i just know that i love to please you>!~ i mean it sound's wrong but that's what i like to do for you babie i like to know i made you feel good>!~ if that make's any sence at all>1` which i know prolly doess'ntlike i know i said i would and i did want you to babie>!~ it's just that like....idek babie i have told you that i am difrent alot of dif time's and when it come's down to it i really am>!~ and i hate it it get's the better of me most the