posted 06-02-2008 08:30 AM by
I'm studying at university, I do a bit of modeling and have a great job... I have a roof over my head and a family I care greatly for. There is no reason I should find it so hard to deal, so hard to cope, so hard to live. Every day is such a stupid battle to survive. I've had my problems; but I dealt with them. I accepted and moved on... so why am I back here? There is very little I could want for. I have a 3 month old nephew who I adore more than I thought was possible. Every time I look at his perfect face I feel that there is hope, that there should be something better. However, the rest of the time it's just a constant struggle to just make it through the day. I want to feel ok, I want to feel happy. I know the feeling exists but I don't remember what it feels like. There are so many wonderful things in this life and I want so desperately to enjoy them. I just don't know how. Each day I wake up and I want to crawl back into the safety of sleep. I need to get past this, I need to move forward!