posted 05-17-2008 01:00 PM by
My finals start on monday o.o
I'm nervous as hell.
It's impossible for me to study everything so I guess summaries will have to do.
Anyway I think it's day 29 now x3 which makes me a bit happy.
It helps for me to read SI fanfiction since it makes me recognise some things I was feeling at the time and by imagining it it helps me not to cut if that makes any sense ^^
I also found a great article on the internet, which said that the every scar shows that you've overcome something much worse. I know it doesn't sound good, but for me it was exactly how I feel about it and it makes me stop feeling guilty or ashamed.
I'm still having a bit of trouble wearing t-shirts, but since my parents don't notice I don't think my friends will either. I'll have to ask my friend who knows about it..
My parents are shoving their problems at me again -.- They argued about a plant..seriously.. anyway my dad told me that some times he's really sick of being married and that "as long as I finish school it'll be okay" or something likewise. He said it as if I'm the only thing that keeps him and my mom together o.o
I don't know if I want to graduate anymore..
I miss the cutting.. I miss the lines it leaves behind.. I don't even have obvious scars..
I have to keep this up till june 6th then the trip will be over
ps. the article http://www.bmezine.com/ritual/A80313/ritfroms.html
ok so for me it's both because of stress, control and because of feeling worthless ^^;
still i'm/was using cutting more as a way of stopping myself to stress/feeling worthless