bekkles's Blog

K. So I met this guy on the weekend. And by the end of the weekend, I had forgotten that I had only just met him. Like, literally, completely forgot. Thought we'd been mates forever. Clearly, we were having a good time. And last night he told me that he likes me. And I like him too... but him and I are both painfully aware of the fact that I very much likes another guy (the amusing thing is that they have very similar names. Christian and Christiano). And I don't really know what to do. Except that I sorta do... it's just not going to be easy.

I need to get over Chich (Christiano). Because far from having struck up an instant friendship with him, I struggle to make any sort of conversation with him... He's starting to like me more as a friend as I have started hanging out with him more, but it's going very slowly. And here's Christian, who I get along with so well, and who actually likes me, and who I like too...

And so people are probably thinking, well duh! The answer's pretty obvious, isn't it? But I can't just stop liking Chich. He's in my drama class, I see him much often... he hangs out either with my group or just a few metres away.... he's friends with most of my friends... and I just love everything about him. And have done for a while. And I can't help thinking that if there's even the slightest chance of anything happening... WHY I CAN'T I JUST HAVE IT BOTH WAYS?!?!?! Lol but that would be very much wrong

*sigh* so yeh. I spose I just gotta spend enuff time with Chich that I make myself realise that there really is no chance of ever getting him. Which there likely isn't. But it's still hard. I hate this!!! *Cries* I've never even had a bf... and it looks like I still won't ever, if I can't make up my mind!!!