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Words In My Blood

Creation Date: 03-29-2008 08:12 AM

Most of my stuff will probly be triggering so you've been warned

lots 2 say

so much has gone on i dunno where to start well that natali girl is 100% not intrested whoo 4 me lol exams suck but i think/hope im doing ok, im 5 monthsish clean of a blade (lost track) o thats good, still get shed loads of urges yk ryt now im ryting coz i kno ill cut otherwise so here i am typing away, got anothe girl i lyk, make that thre other girl and i know an girls reading this r gona thin...

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school help and helping myself

one of the senior staff at 6th form said they're gonna talk to my art and geo teacher to try and get me some help in those subjects yay. i tried to talk to natalie yesterday (coz im in her form and sit behind her in bio so between form and bio its pretty much me and her) but i find it so hard all i keep thinking is that shes not interested in what im saying and that theres no way shes gonna ever ...

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Idiot

so i found em yesterday yeah (the pain meds) and wen to school with em was walking through library and started taking them while no-one was looking one,two,three,four one after the other ater the fourth i was lyk oh crap what am i do so i went and told my form tutor. (just a quick thnx to Mr.Rodney) i was getting all upset (first tym in ages ive got close to crying) and he explain that i hadnt ta...

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Found em

found ma dads pain meds so im gonna c if ive got the balls to take em at school (dont wana die at home) the pack says no more than 2 at a time and no more than 8 in a day so i dunno howmany to take myt take 4 or 6 or 10 i dunno?? if it dont work or i bottle out ull hear from me plus dunno if i should leave suicide notes

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Blogging 2

just got round to blogging coz im not allowed to at home so it takes me a while sometyms but i am trying to blog more its just a good way to talk things out even if kno-one listening. trying to find my dads f*cking pain meds this morning for an OD but i hav no idea where they are. how many co-codymol tablets would it take to kill me? does anyone kno? will try and find them tommorow and down a loa...

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blogging

ive decided to actually start using this as an acual day to day blog rather than just an aoccasional vent that im using it for at the moment although i may make a new account insted u kno a fresh start ill be sure to say my new account for anyone who reads my blog (yh lyk anyone actually reads my sh*tty f*cking blog) im just really pathetic. i gotta go see 2 councellers on friday whoo coz i need ...

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cant be fucked

lately i just cant be asked with anything, i just dont care, i feel lyk lifes just passing me by. i mean 6th form draggs on and im way behind in my work. stuck doing a dead end job three days a week after 6th form. i cant get over my ex who doesnt give 2 ****s aboout me. (whoooo) and lately im just feeling lyk whats the point. i mean every nyt after work (so three days a week) at lyk 10pm i stand...

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y do i still love her?

saw my ex the other day right (had a go at her then we made up when she txt me on xmas eve and we decided to meet and go camden) so i had lyk the best day eva was happier than ive bin in god knows how long and i was lyk wtf coz i just wanted to hold her all day and neva let her go i even shrugged off my current girlfriend to go and see my ex again. and now i cant stop thinking bout her again wat ...

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AXI(trigger)

carved AXI into my arm yesterday bled loads thing is even when i put the cut into burning hot water it just didnt hurt enough i dunno y it just didnt im getting so bad now i need to hurt a lot more each tym i cut.

ps havent blogged in a while but will continue to whenever i get the chance although i duno y but i kinda thinki was using this site to just keep a connection wit my ex.

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a fresh start

gonna be starting six form in two days hopefully i'll be able to make loads of new friends but i doubt it i never make a lot of friends at school never have really i'm too wierd (and cause too many problems) im worried and xcited (kinda) it'll be good to try and make some new friends but i can see myself on my own as usual

havent cut in a few weeks (since my last outburst). but ive got anothe...

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