STFU.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way you are. i used to feel awful too.... but eventually got help. I was very resistant at first, but saw a counselor... yes, i was extremly extremly not wanting to gooo- at all, but it helped.. i have new meds that help clear my head- well somewhat, but it helps me. it's been quite sometime... but realize that you're worth it.. no matter how crazy the world is, especially family, you deserve a good life. I bet you rarely hear that.