posted 08-13-2007 07:21 PM by
I donít actually know the date, or I'd put it here.. :\ Itís some time in August. Ooh, and itís Saturday night/Sunday morning. Thatís as much as I know, haha! Well, give me a break I'm in the middle of my Summer Holidays right now, so I don't keep track.
Iím so excited to be doing this! Hehehehe.
Eek, sorry guys, I bet I seem like a right nut job?
Itís 3am UK time, and I havenít slept properly for about a week so Iím not exactly sane at the mo! ;P
I don't actually know anyone on here well, at all, cos, like, I only joined up, well, I dunno, not long ago. So, Iím gonna go from you guys not knowing a thing about me, to knowing way more than youíd care to! ;P I have a slight tendency to absolutely bare my soul to complete strangers. So, here goes. Hehe!
Hmm, I dunno why I'm all hyper actually. Iím starting to think that I make myself hyper to cover up how crap I feel. Does that make sense? Probably not, but Iím not all that bothered anyway.
Iíve had like the worst day ever. Letís see..
After 10hours sleep (though it did nothing and I felt like I hadnít slept at all) I woke up at 1pm. I thought, oh, okay, Iíll go on the computer. You know, MSN a few people, all that business. So I get downstairs and the computer will not let me on the internet. You see, we have the dodgiest internet connection in all the world, and it just randomly kicks me off for hours at a time. So, I was sat bored out of my mind until it came on (I refused to move out of pure principle) and I finally got on at 4:30!! 3 Ĺ hours later!
Then, Iíd been online for all of ten minutes and mum decided she wanted to go on. And when my mum wants something she gets it. so I was kicked off.
And then we went shopping because I need new shoes for my holiday (next week Ė Iím terrified. Iíve gotta wear a bikini. I dunno if Iíll manage it...) and new school trousers. Shoes are fine, I love shoes and shopping for them is ace, especially when Iím not paying! But then we got to the trousers. I was totally distraught because Iíve gone up a size. That may make me sound really vain, but, to be honest, Iíve never been in any way skinny, and at the moment Iím doing all I can to eat normally. Everyone told me Iíd be fine and everything, but Iím gaining weight... Whatís going on there? I mean, itís not really an incentive for me to eat properly, is it?? Because, I was NEVER under-weight or anywhere near it, so itís not like I need to put the weight on.
Anyway, after that, I just kinda mooched about, mum was on the computer again, so I still couldnít get on. I finally got online at like, 7:30 or something. I was well annoyed. I then went on to have the longest rant in the history of all rants to one of my friends. She did what she could to help, but I was totally off in my own thoughts.
And now itís 3:15, and Iím doing everything I can to keep myself awake. Because when I go to bed, Iíll go ďdingĒ and be wide-awake. And then Iíll lay there thinking only of wanting to cut and stuff. Ė And I havenít for over a week, which may sound like nothing, but itís a big thing for me!
Thing thatís about it. Sorry if this made no sense at all - though I'd be surprised if anyone has read as far as this, lol!