posted 08-06-2010 07:26 AM by
Hey fti. It's been a while. I had been doing well, and haven't been around in a long time.
I need someone to talk to. Desperately so.
About a month ago, my fiance and I broke up. It was my decision, but that didn't make it any easier, on either of us. I don't really want to go into specifics, but we grew apart.
I met this guy while school was still in. He was great. A perfect escape. I...
posted 02-14-2009 07:48 AM by
On His Brand New Hearse.
(Bleed it out, LP) For some reason this song makes me really happy, must be the beat, cuz the lyrics aren't super happy...
Anyways. I'm happy? I don't know. I have a migraine... but it could be worse. I was up early, haven't really been sleeping.
But I'm okay. I'll be fine. I got my cats, and my loud music cuz my fam is out of town. They don't appreciate good mus...
posted 02-11-2009 08:40 PM by
I feel empty; emotionless.
I want more than ever to cut, but I'm not sad or angry... I haven't.
I'm sitting here, alone, with my cats. I haven't been working on my studies, I haven't been doing anything really. I just don't want to move.
I would rather be depressed than float here like this.
I can't stop thinking about Mike. About why he left me
posted 02-09-2009 09:15 PM by
So five years ago, my best friend committed suicide. I loved him. With everything I was. He loved me.
I had the story written, but I backspaced.... because it doesn't matter anymore.
This was Valentine's day, years ago, and now I have someone to love and to love me, but this day still makes me so sad.
He hurt me so much, but I just wish I could go back and save him.
Rest in Peace, my
posted 02-08-2009 08:59 PM by
I am not well.
But I am not sick.
I am floating here, between disabling depression and being able to function like a normal 18 year old girl.
I want one or the other. Sometimes I can laugh and enjoy my family and fiance, sometimes I'd rather spend the day in bed. But I'm not even living one side fully... I'm not completely, desperately depressed... and I can't get really happy either. At ...
posted 02-06-2009 09:45 AM by
I want the world to go away. Words are meaningless, but they hurt. Of course they hurt. Everything hurts.
I want to cry. Cry myself to sleep and never wake.
I want to cut. Bleed myself to sleep and never wake.
These demons are in my head and sometimes they hide. Sometimes I am normal. Sometimes I laugh, I function. I have no control when they come out though. I have no contr...
posted 02-04-2009 08:46 PM by
i wish i could love myself,
the way i love you
because im only here because i have you
because i wake up in the middle of the night
wanting to cry
but i laugh because youve stolen the covers
youre my everything
thats not enough
i feel pathetic. i'm so lonely. so desperate. i'm reading and rereading posts and blogs, searching for something i wish i had a rea...
posted 02-04-2009 08:32 PM by
No one is going to understand this,
but that's okay.
I have lots of people to talk to, to share with, but sometimes everyone needs somewhere to be anonymous. You know exactly what I mean.
My mind is running so much faster than my body; so much faster than time. I cannot meet my own standards, nor can I remember what those goals had been. I know where I want to be, and it's not here. I know w...
posted 01-11-2009 08:16 PM by
I've been stable.
My bipolar has been hiding behind the medication and has not really shown itself lately.
Last night I started to cry and I couldn't stop again.
I started to cut (for the first time in forever) and I couldn't stop.
I have just started a new term at school, my teacher has high expectations and I have an essay due. I can't think, nevermind write a thousand word essay on a top...
posted 12-21-2008 06:06 PM by
I joined this group a few years ago,
I come and I go,
Mostly I'm here screaming my lungs out,
The things I can't really say out loud without scrutiny.
I'm 18, female, live in southern canada.
I have bi-polar, insomnia, ptsd, ocd and an eating disorder that comes and goes.
I am on meds, see a therapist and doctor and my family is supportive.
Most of all though,
what you need to know,