posted 10-18-2007 08:09 AM by
Wow. I havent posted here in a long time. guess not much happening in my life. school and work. and the occasionally drinking with a friend. who im starting to believe really isnt my friend after all. i mean who says theyre throwing a party for thier friends and not invite me, who i thought was a friend. gah. im so depressed bc i feel left out and alone. i guess ill always feel alone...just lonely old Jesse...such a sad thought. and she has a bf...and i am happy for her, i really am. but at the same time im jealous, well maybe not so much as jealous, but more of feeling worthless. how can i compete with an emory grad student? i can barely keep up with my own studies as an undergrad. its no-contest, so i should just give up. put some space between us. I kinda just wanna give her back the bracelet she made me, and walk out of her life. it would probably be the best thing. and if she really cared she'd come after me right? and if not, i could just write a little note on whiteboard outside her door saying. "Thanks for the Memories."
Anyways. my rant is done. im feeling a little better now. im glad i could get that out there.
Tori. you mean so much to me. you are the only one who comes after me when i leave, and i cherish you for that. you really make me feel special and cared about. i dont know what i'd do without you. thank you for putting up with all my tears and crap and stuff. I'll try to be a stronger person, its just even the smallest of hacks can fell a mighty oak. you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world. and your simply amazing at being a great friend. thank you.