posted 07-15-2008 08:42 PM by
meh. I haven't written here in forever. prolly cause i know no one will read it. or maybe i just don't like to admit to myself what i write is really true.
I'm failing both classes im taking over the summer, organic chemistry 2 and synthesis lab 1. which means i'll prolly get kicked from the frat..
but better news is. I finished up my research project and I might be getting published. which would look amazing on my resume.
mum asked if i wanted to take a trip when the semesters over. she would pay for it. and i thought about it...I've been in school for 9 straight semesters. since i started college I have yet to have a semester off. so i guess it would be nice to get away for a while. but where to...
so. something is killing me while i sleep. i wake up with scratches and bruises. theres must be some abusive night monster living in my room.
i've become really anti-social lately. but. i'm not sure if its that people are too busy to talk to me, or that i don't want anyone to talk to me. I'm in a wierd place right now. where i'm totally not sure who to trust anymore. I being let down, maybe my expectations from people are too high?
which brings me to my next point. I am nearly 99% sure that there isn't anyone out there for me. I just don't think I could ever trust someone, as well as myself, to be that close to me. I'm not sure what it is. I just don't find people attractive. prolly not normal. but whatever, normal is boring.
mainly tho. I've lost a lot of respect for people.
I don't know. I had a little fling with one of the brothers, and yes we had sex. but. i wish we hadn't. it only made things more complicated, and took 3 months to re-establish a friendship. and imo, sex is definitely overrated. I would much rather have someone I could emotionally relate to, then to have some **** buddy.
meh. I guess i should stop here. thats all i really have to say.