posted 10-19-2010 03:20 PM by
it's been a very very long time since I've been here
I've been doing good.
I quit university since I knew I wasn't able to handle that much stress, but surprisingly I've found something to study that brings on much more stress but I love it too much to let is pass by xD I've decided to become a social worker
ironic right? xD
I've stopped cutting.. I'm now more than 2 months since last time and it seems like it's ages away I can't even remember last time =s
I think the major change for me was that I started talking to this guy online and we really clicked x3 and he said I was BS'ing about getting better about my eating disorder since I was basically killing myself very slowely. He got really upset because I told him I used to cut and I really don't want him to be upset so I can't now xD and I don't want to either =s cause I'm happy XD and because I'm now able to handle my problems differently x3
We met in real life and I kinda love him ^^;; and we've been together for 2 months and 2 days now X333 I still can't say it to him in person that I love him but I'm getting closer to saying it everytime xD but sometimes I still doubt if it's heading anywhere cause well I'm me and all the bagage and stuff ^^;; but gods I love the way he smiles *-* how he looks in the morning x3 even love him when he's having a bad mood X'D must be love right?
Eatingdisorder is still there though )= it's still a miracle if I eat 2 meals a day. I try to keep up on eating dinner every night cause I don't want to disappoint anyone and I want to get better and have some stability back in my life. Think I've done enough damage to my body to last me a lifetime )=
I'm still trying to get counseling for the eating disorder but here in holland it's very slow )= and they made a mistake so they had to re-add me to the waitinglist T___T at least I got rid of the self harm and depression on my own X3 well kinda xD I'm so happy X3
I don't even drink any energydrink anymore either o_o so I'm kinda heading the right way I think xD