Whole lot of Nothing

I thought I could just start and stop like ti was nothing, i thought i was strong enough, smart enough, to get by scott-free. That was three and a half years ago and now I'm stuck. I guess its called Wannarexic, or so i saw in a magazine. I stopped eating as a fad diet that dumb teenagers do, but i was 15 and had no clue about what a real eating disorder was. After a few months as the numbers continued to drop I was stuck, caught and enamored. Addicted to being thin, with losing weight by losing myself. Its been three and a hlf years of eating disorders, one after another. i get healthy for a month or so and then i get trapped again. I've done anorexia, b/p, and many other of the EDNOSes. I read somewhere that a lot of people who start it as a fad diet end up stuck like me.

I feel like such a fool sometimes. Not just because it all started as a wannarexic deal but also because that kinda fad disrespects people with the actual conditions like me now.