Just a Jinx

I've been stable.
My bipolar has been hiding behind the medication and has not really shown itself lately.
Last night I started to cry and I couldn't stop again.
I started to cut (for the first time in forever) and I couldn't stop.

I have just started a new term at school, my teacher has high expectations and I have an essay due. I can't think, nevermind write a thousand word essay on a topic I haven't even picked yet.

This frustrates me so much, because I know in a week I'll be fine. But this time seems different, and I cannot even half-function. I'm crashing. I'm going to be kicked out of my classes and that doesn't even really bother me, as long as I can sit here, alone, and cry.

I'm so sick of myself.
-jinx