View Full Version : always my fault
lost and broken
04-20-2005, 10:38 AM
It always seems that I never do anything right in my parents eyes. My mom blames me for her depression now because she says she is so scared that Im not going to graduate highschool....I try to explain to her that I am. that I have never failed a grade in my life and she still doesnt get it. She is always making me feel like **** and that its my fault everything is going wrong in her life. She acts like my life is perfect....she doesnt get it that I hate everything about myself, my looks my weight my personalitily everything...AHHHH I just wish I was someone different on days like this. I wish I had a different dad and that he was actually around and didnt just pretend to care about us. I just dont know what to do anymore...if I do graduate next month then I am outta here in August, I will be off to collage and on my own able to live my life the way I want to. Its just breaking me down...everyday I wonder if Im going to get yelled at for something that went wrong with her life. I just need some help.
04-20-2005, 10:57 AM
I'm sorry it sounds like you are having a really hard time of it. when people have depression they go through different stages which includes blaming other people. Your mum is blaming you which isn't fair. She isn't taking any responsibility. I think all you can do is graduate to show her. But at the end of the day if you failed it wouldn't be the end of the world, much worse things could happen, maybe your mum needs to get some perspective.
It sounds like you feel it will be a relief to go off to college, true you will be able to have your own freedom and get on with doing what you want. But going to college is also a very stressful time and I know from experience things got worse for me. and reading others posts on here it's quite common.
Remember that although you will be away from many of the things that depress you and get you down. you will still be you, and if you have self esteem issues they won't disapear.
Do you have anyone to talk to about how your feeling? Its good that you can post here. do you have a school counsellor? i've founfd counselling very helpful.
04-21-2005, 05:40 AM
like I always say sometimes our parents are the ones who need the help the most cause if they were sane maybe just maybe we would be sane too!!!