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Can'tstandup24
01-14-2005, 07:15 AM
Hey my name is Shayna. My friend joined this site and I figured I'd give it a try. So just to give a little background info; I am 14, my dad is an alcoholic and left me when I was too, he has been in and out of my life; my mom is getting married and I have issues trusting guys. So as you can probably guess I have been pretty upset cuz they have tried including me in the wedding but I always feel like I am "cheating" on my dad. The guy my mom is marrying is nice enough, I mean he can be a jerk at times but who can't? So anyway the point of my post is am I going nuts being all depressed about this or are my feelings normal? How do I move past these feelings? :wacko:
P.S. I am happy that my mom has someone who loves her, so I guess that is a start.

Tindomerelhloni
01-14-2005, 07:47 AM
P.S. I am happy that my mom has someone who loves her, so I guess that is a start.

Dwel on that thought. and maybe, if you let him, he will be a better father to you than your real dad. I only say this because, When i was one, my dad stoped seeing me. and for 14 years of my life (I'm 16 now), i thought that my step dad (who i call my dad) was my real father. He might not be my real dad, but he treats me like he is, and I him.

And no, you not crazy for being depressed about this. I know how you feel, after my mom divorced my dad, I got wicked upset when she started dating again. so, i moved in with my dad (keep in mind that when i sayd "my dad" i mean my step dad) I dunno if that helps or anything, but I do know where your comming from :) soo I'm here if you ever need to talk! Ok? :)

-Lauren

weepingwillow
01-14-2005, 08:03 AM
So anyway the point of my post is am I going nuts being all depressed about this or are my feelings normal?
They're normal. I felt the same way before my mum got married. I got over it, I'm the one who told my mum to get married (she doesn't make any big decisions unless I agree :) ). You will too. My dad isn't a part of my life at all. He doesn't care about me and neither does he my mum. I used to get jealous when I imagined having to share my mum with anyone. My mum was mine. I didn't think i needed a substitute dad and she didn't need a husband because she was super-mom and she didn't have have any needs.
If I could be that self-centred little brat and still be considered (nearly) sane I think you can be a little upset and still be "normal". :D The fact that you feel like you're cheating on your Dad only shows how much you love him. And that is a very sweet thing. You needn't be depressed. I used to have a childhood fantasy that I would have a family someday. A real one, with a mum and dad, my grandmum, and maybe a brother or sister. I've always felt alone, never fit in. I used to look at pictures of my mum and dad and I together and I'd think how perfect everything seemed. I used to pray to God that my Dad would change and maybe start to love me. He hasn't. But that doesn't mean I can't have a family.
I am happy that my mom has someone who loves her, so I guess that is a start.
You really do love you parents, don't you? I'm glad my mum had someone now, too. She won't be alone anymore. And trust me, things will be better for you, too.

Nurah
01-14-2005, 05:51 PM
something very close to what you are going through happened to me when I was 10. I know i was a little younger, but the conditions were the same. my dad was into drugs and drinking and he even beat up my mom so many times, i lost count after a while. then my mom got married again to some guy that i didn't even know and it turned my life upside down. it will take a while of getting used to and communication with the new husband/step-dad and the man your mom is getting married to will never replace your real father (even though some of our fathers weren't the best dads out there), but give him a chance. You will learn to love and respect him over the years and when you realize that he is willing to make sacrifices for you and your mom, i'm sure you will be a lot happier about him being in your life.