View Full Version : why cant i be normal?

I just dont get it
12-31-2007, 05:25 PM
ok so i used to scratch my arms and i stopped that a few months ago. once i stopped i was depressed even more for a few more months. then recently i started to not want to eat any more so i didnt. i made me feel so much better and the depression started wear off. now my family is getting back to being happy like how we used to be. (i went into depression bc my family was really messed up and i got blammed for it. some ppl say my parents were abusing me and i kinda guess they were. but now its getting better.) any way even though things are getting better for some reason i dont want to eat any more again. i went to a thereapist and they said it was bc i was looking for a sence of control. well i dont get why i would still be looking for it. im happy im back to my old self. so then why am i acting like this? why am i starving myself? it doesnt make sence. why cant i be normal?

01-01-2008, 01:16 PM
on the contrary, you are normal. your therapist is right in a way. if you let the situation around you control your habits, then you feel like you don't have control over yourself in a way. we tend to change the first time but not change as easily after that for whatever reason. i think you got comfortable as you are now. i'm just like that. if something upsets me, i lose my appetite or just get depressed. if something really good happens afterwards, i still don't get happy, but i can't completely explain why. yeah, it's not good... but eventually, you'll start to change if you really think its for the better.