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purpledinosaur
10-15-2007, 01:46 PM
Hello, I haven't been on this site in a very long time, mostly due to an incident involving this site that sent me back into more intensive treatment. See I had used the name of something in one of my posts, that someone i knew googled and found a link to my post, and read it then told my parents who read it also and called my doctor. On a lot of levels I felt my privacy had been invaded and I was very upset about this third reveal in my process, and thought i could do much better on my own. It turns out however, that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. I started with a new therapist who is much stricter, using purely family therapy and the maudsley approach, i also switched doctors and started on prozac, and next monday I will be starting a group therapy/yoga session that will continue for twelve weeks. I am happy to say I've been purge free for almost a whole month! I feels amazing to be alive again, and able to function. I'm not saying it's completely easy. Although I haven't had any strong tugging desires to purge lately, I'm still icredibly unhappy with my size and would do anything to be able to starve myself again. Only I can't because the family is watching and I'm keeping a food journal i have to show to my nutritionist, so as much as i want to be thin I think is a good thing that i'm not allowed to lose weight yet.

I just had a long talk with a friend of mine who has eating issues herself, only has never told anyone in order to get help and is working on it herself. she seems to be doing allright these days, and it was so nice to open up to someone and have them open up to me, in not complainig about how bad things are but how bad things WERE and how much better they are now. Though, I've got to admit, talking about my past made me miss the little perks of being slender. And I think it may have triggered me a little, so i came home and ate too much even though i wasn't hungry. Now i feel awful. And I think that is why I am here, because I'd really like to avoid messing up my progress, ad I really want to be one of the people that can offer their recovery story and encouragement on this site.

I would love to talk to ayone at any time who is struggling or succeeding or just wants someone to talk with, so feel free to PM me, or anything!

love to all!

Jasminisme
10-15-2007, 03:52 PM
I haven't been on here for ages either. Congratulations on your progress in recovery! It's probably the hardest thing you'll do in your life but it's worth it. I've been purge free for about 9 months now, some days are hard, but I feel so much better.